You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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