My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
