NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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