White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
