i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
