I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
