i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
