I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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