I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
