Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
