I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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