my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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