Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
