The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
