It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
