I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
