yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
