Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
