i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
