So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
