i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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