So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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