So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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