And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
