Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
