id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
