It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just pee around me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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