My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
