You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
