Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
