May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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