Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
