haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
