I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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