yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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