Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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