physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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