let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
