I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
