I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
