seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
