ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
