When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
