I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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