you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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