so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
