I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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