her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
