this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i believe in u and ur pee
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
