He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
