I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
