We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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