haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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