great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
