Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
