I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
