they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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