Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
