Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
